


The Flower Prince

by Suchsmallhands



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Best Friends, Bottom Louis, Creature Harry, Fantasy, Flower Child Harry, Flower Child Niall, Flower Crowns, Flower Prince, Flower child Zayn, Flowers, Friends to Lovers, Human Louis, I don't know what to tag this as?, I just couldn't NOT write niall with Bells of Ireland in his hair?, King - Freeform, Language of Flowers, M/M, Naill is in this but not much, Nature, Royalty, Top Harry, but basically they spend a shit ton of time outside in ways that a millennial doesn't, i don't know what century it is, technically, this is set in a village in the middle of no where where they're much more connected to nature
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-04-30 17:34:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5173064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suchsmallhands/pseuds/Suchsmallhands
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>The world never did seem like it would need much to make it go around. It always seemed to do that on it's own. He didn't really know what it entailed to be the prince's friend, or what it would mean to be the king's. He didn't know what it meant to be a prince and he didn't yet know just how much it took to make the flowers grow and the world go around. </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Louis is the only human in a community of people who seem to be half flower, half human. He and Harry are young and in love before Louis knows just what it means to be in love with the prince.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> _"If you're lost just look for me, you'll find me in the region of the summer stars."_   
>  _-Walking in the Wind_

The world doesn't seem that big.  
Not to Louis. For him, really, the world was small. Simple. Bright. More than enough.  
The world never did seem like it would need much to make it go around. It always seemed to do that on it's own.  
He doesn't remember where he came from, but Louis doesn't have flowers; he doesn't have them like the rest of the people do. He knows he was taken in, found in the forest, by his parents and that's all he really ever needed to know about that. It's why he doesn't have flowers.  
His friends, however, and the rest of the people in his tiny home in the middle of no where do have flowers. Flowers that grow out of their bodies.  
His home is a small community of people, all with flowers. Flowers grow from the roots of their hair, all in different ways. Louis loves his family, finds them all beautiful. 

-

The sun is bright and warm, almost golden. It shines down on the meadow near the houses, down in the valley. Louis ran and laughed through the waving grass as it parted around his short legs, panting as he slowed down and turned to his friend. Harry was much slower, his curls waving forward around his face as he reached him.  
The sun made his curls glow, his green eyes soft and alight with the innocent glee that came with being young. Harry was much more narrow and lankier than Louis, would probably grow to be taller than Louis' petite body could keep up with when they grew older.  
Louis stood for a moment, staring at him as he panted, the air cool but his skin warmer from running. He was taking notice of Harry's flowers. They hadn't changed much today. They change every night, wilting and regrowing anew. Everyone's flowers did. When they grew back in the morning they were often slightly different than they were when the sun had set. They changed to reflect the person and how they had changed. Louis had grown to know the flowers could deceive. Some people had very soft, happy flowers and yet they could be in moods that would send him running. Harry was very cool, luckily. Louis could trust him to always react softly to how he felt.  
Louis had seen some people change before, knew that usually when the kids older than him started to get taller that their flowers tended to change the most. But he had also seen some peoples' change over night. He remembers when the boy from his village got stuck on the ice over the river two winters ago, breaking the ice and falling in. He remembers that his mother normally had white flowers. The next day they were gone, replaced by flowers with singular petals of deep crimsons and dull, dark blues. He had never seen flowers change so fast, but hers never regrew differently even when she smiled and seemed normal.  
Harry, today, had lightly colored flowers blooming from his dark waving hair. The flowers were normally small and softly colored, pastel blushes that peaked out from his hair and curled behind his ears. They had always been like this, for as long as Louis had been his friend. Louis loved them.  
He grabbed Harry's hand and pulled him along as he fell back into the thick grass of the field. Harry giggled and sat next to him in the flattened grass, pushing a lock of hair behind his ear, the pedals of flowers brushing against his fingers. Today there were Gypsophila, small Bluebells, and flowers that Louis didn't remember the names of. He always was bad at remembering them. He just knew that the various soft pinks and blues and yellows looked pretty on him.  
Louis felt safe in the meadow, where no one could see them. The sun warming his skin while the breeze tugged at his hair.  
"Are you coming with me and Zayn to the fire tonight?" Louis smiled, sitting close to him. He leaned close as if he had a secret.  
"Yes." He nodded.  
"Good." He sat with him for a long moment, letting Harry play with his fingers in his lap. "Harry."  
"Yeah?"  
"Have you ever kissed anyone?" He asked, feeling nervous. Harry met his eyes, wide and gentle.  
"You mean like... a real kiss?" Louis blushed. He thought he looked beautiful, his soft lips and green eyes made him want to try kissing.  
"Yeah." Harry shook his head no.  
"Do you want to try?" He smiled, nearly giggling at Harry's surprised blinking.  
"I don't know. Ann and Eli never said anything about kissing..." Ann and Eli were Harry's main caretakers, the people he lived with and who raised him. He didn't have parents, or at least that's what Louis understood. Although, Harry said that they just weren't like Louis'. Harry tended to listen to his guardians and be mindful, as Louis was rebellious and less keen to follow his parents rules. Louis grinned.  
"Who cares?" He murmured quietly, leaning close. Harry's cheeks blushed as pink as the flowers curled around his ears and peaking out of his hair, nodding. Louis felt Harry's hand squeeze a little tighter around his, tucked in their laps where their legs pressed together.  
He leaned forward, Harry's face tilted down in shyness, pressing his lips to his. He felt his stomach flutter in nervousness and happiness. Harry kissed back, the simple press of his lips surprising Louis. He'd never expected it to feel that soft and defined. It made Louis smile and feel proud to be kissed by him, feeling close. He pulled back and giggled nervously as Harry blushed and touched his lips, one hand still holding Louis'.  
The grass swayed around their small, flattened bed, breeze catching strands of Harry's hair.  
Louis knew that Harry was a Prince.  
Every one did, in their home. The prince of their people was gentle and still young. Louis didn't know what it meant to be the prince, and didn't really yet understand who or what the king was. He didn't really know what it entailed to be the prince's friend, or what it would mean to be the king's. He just knew that he was his friend and that the adults weren't very good at explaining what the prince was supposed to do. Harry was just like him and his friends in Louis' eyes.  
He didn't know what it meant to be a prince and he didn't yet know just how much it took to make the flowers grow and the world go around.


	2. Chapter 2

Zayn had pretty flowers and most of the kids admired him for them. They were usually white and other neutral colors with sharp, thin petals that followed the flow of his hair. He even had some green, grass like flowers.  
On the porch steps at Harry's house, Louis waited with him for Zayn. They were going to watch the people race their horses tonight, something they didn't normally do. Zayn dragged his feet and said he didn't care to see the stupid horse race, but Louis knew he'd much rather come along than stay home.  
Louis' shoulder leaned against Harry's as they waited, watching the people in their village talk and walk in the grassy passages between the houses. It was fall, the trees dropping their warmly colored leaves onto the cold earth. Louis had a sweater on and so did Harry, too young to worry about putting on a coat before it was just the right side of freezing.  
One of the dogs in their village ran passed them, chasing another. Harry clicked his tongue and called him closer, opening his hands as the big, wolf like dog lolled his tongue out and came to him. Louis smiled, he liked playing with the dogs and wrestling or chasing them. He watched with warmth in his chest as the dog gently lay his head in Harry's hands, huffing happily and leaning his ears into Harry's petting. Harry was very good with the animals, and somehow always managed to make them come to him and be calm and gentle.  
Harry reached into his hair and squinted one eye closed as he plucked a flower from his roots. The dog was, as always, surprisingly still for Harry while he tied the flower into the dogs fur. He had many other flowers tied into his fur and tail, some of them tucked into his collar, some of them tucked into strips of leather wrapped around his legs. It was common for the pets that lived in their home to be adorned with flowers from the people that they greeted during the day.  
Zayn arrived and Harry patted the dog before they went inside to say goodbye to his guardians. The house was warm and busy as Ann cooked and her friends chatted at the table. They were all more serious adults, Louis knew. Most of the adults who spent time near Harry were, serious and less prone to jokes and friendly pats on the shoulders of his friends.  
Louis said hello to Ann, well acquainted with her, getting a smile and a hug which he was quite proud of as it meant he was closest to Harry. They waited as Ann put a jacket on Harry, telling him to be careful as it started to get colder.  
"Harry, did you pull one of your flowers?" Ann frowned, narrowing her eyes at the hair near his ear.  
"Yeah..." He frowned, pulling away and patting his hair down.  
"I told you to stop that, just because everyone can do it doesn't mean it will kill you not to. You need to respect what you're given. Learn be more grateful of the earth." Harry nodded with an unhappy frown, already returning to Louis' side.  
Louis had heard the story before, Harry's strange caretakers. Respect this, be grateful that. They didn't seem to mind if anyone else pulled a flower or two, but with Harry they were always telling him to be more strict and guarded of the 'earth' and the 'life'. Louis understood that the whole community was more connected to 'earth' and 'spirits' than he, the only human was, but even some of his friends had a limit when it came to treating the soil as a living thing.  
His guardians however didn't take it lightly when it came to Harry. Louis didn't ask him about it much, finding that Harry would always shrug and say he didn't know. Harry was a good child, listening to his guardians dutifully. But, Louis could see that he didn't fully want to be treated so differently.  
That night, Louis cheered and made Harry laugh at the races, holding his hand and playing with Zayn. When Zayn wasn't looking, he pulled Harry behind some trees and kissed him in secret. Harry held him closely and kissed for longer.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this is shit, I power wrote this thing to the finish within forty eight hours and I'm dead so, I'm not really fully aware of what I'm posting. (Will update tonight.)

Louis watched Harry grow quickly. By the time he was fifteen he was taller than Louis, long limbs changing with his flowers.  
It was night when Harry came to find Louis, brow set in a crease of frustration. Louis was smiling and playing with Zayn just after the sun had gone down when he approached him, jaw set tightly. His smile dropped and he turned to Harry, the moonlight beginning to illuminate the grassy patch where he and Zayn kicked a ball back and forth.  
"Hazza?" Louis frowned, looking him over. He noticed his flowers before anything else. Harry's flowers had grown to sharper colors. Still pastel and soft, they were more richly colored than his regular colors, the petals less rounded and shy. Louis had a few years of learning under his feet to know that one of the flowers he spotted near Harry's temple was of individuality. He'd certainly never seen that one growing up with him.  
"I want to go to the beach." Harry grit, glancing at Zayn and then returning his piercing gaze to Louis only.  
"Um... Okay." Louis stepped forward, ready to follow him. He waved over his shoulder to Zayn as Harry turned and walked away from the houses towards the sea. Louis waited until they were across the meadows and into the trees to speak.  
"Harry? Don't you have to be home at night?" He questioned. He didn't personally care about curfews, he normally didn't follow them, being chastised by his parents when he returned home. He wasn't particularly rebellious, which is why he got off with cheeky smiles and apologies.  
"Who cares?" Harry looked over his shoulder at him, steady eyes choking Louis. He was repeating Louis, who said 'who cares' every time he tried to make Harry do something his guardians didn't agree with.  
He followed behind Harry in the dark, thankful it was a full moon that lit their path as Harry walked out of the trees and into the plains which ended in cliffs at the shoreline. It was a stretch of open grass that brushed against their hips as he followed behind Harry.  
Harry reached into his hair and pulled a flower away, tossing it aside. Louis watched for a quiet moment as he pulled them out over and over.  
"Harry!" Louis jogged to his side, grasping his wrist. Harry pulled his hand away, the flower in it being thrown to the earth. "What are you doing?"  
"I don't want them." He breathed with tension, "You can't make me keep them."  
"I won't..." He shook his head in confusion, murmuring soothingly to him. He'd never seen someone pull out more than one or a couple of their flowers at once. "Doesn't it... does it hurt?"  
Harry shook his head, eyes conflicted and unrestful, "Not that bad."  
"What happened?" Louis murmured, eyes wide with worry and comfort.  
"I don't want to be the prince." Harry choked, stepping away from him, "I don't want these flowers! I don't want any of them, I don't want to be this!"  
Louis tried to steady him as Harry shook his head, storming eyes squeezing shut, shoulders tense.  
"Harry, it's okay." He murmured, touching his arms, "It's okay, H, it's okay."  
"I don't want this!" He snapped, making Louis stop. "I don't want this! I want to be like you! I want to be like you. Why can't I just be like you." He trailed off, panting. He panted quietly, the moonlit grass swaying against their legs. Louis touched his arm gently, thumb squeezing lovingly.  
"It's okay." Louis cooed, wishing he knew what to say. The sound of the crickets and the grass filled the silence before he spoke, "What happened?"  
Harry looked at him and looked away, shaking his head. He reached to his crown and plucked another of the flowers, Louis grabbing his hand before he could drop it to the ground.  
"Here, give them to me." He whispered, opening his palm against Harry's hand. Harry's chest collapsed with an exhale, troubled eyes soothing as he lay the flower in Louis' hand. Louis began to walk with him, hold his hand out to Harry as he plucked flower after flower from his hair. Louis was quiet as they walked towards the cliffs where the ocean met the sand, hand filling with flowers as Harry pulled them all out.  
By the time they made it to the little trail leading down the cliffs to the sand, Harry was feeling around for flowers to pluck, slowing as he ran out.  
Louis sat with him on the soft sand, the moon lighting up the ocean as it hummed and sighed over the shore. The black cliffs behind them with tufts of grass, hid them away from the world. Harry was calm, sighing tiredly as Louis carefully cupped his hands around his flowers. Harry found one more, pulling it from his curls. Louis met his eyes as he looked from Louis to the flower. He placed the little bloom into Louis' hand, stilling. Louis looked at him in amazement, he had never seen Harry without any of the soft petals feathering out of his hair.  
Harry watched him as he gazed at his crown, reaching up to run a gentle hand through his deflowered hair. Harry looked down, bowing his head to his hand.  
"Are you okay?" Louis murmured, worry in his stomach. Harry shrugged, shaking his head in Louis' hand.  
Harry lifted his head and reached into Louis hand, picking up one of the flowers and shifting closer to him. Louis held his hands out for Harry as he braided the flower into his hair. He paused to look at the first one before reaching down and picking up more to braid into his roots until he had braided every last one of his flowers into Louis' hair.  
Minutes later, he raised his hand to touch his crown, fingers brushing across Harry's flowers there.  
Harry looked at him and he felt like he couldn't go into public like this. He felt like the weight of Harry's flowers was tying him to Harry himself, wrapping himself around his soul. He felt like he was wearing a sign that said he was his.  
"You look beautiful." Harry whispered. Louis leaned against him and kissed him, touching their lips without hesitation and holding his kiss for a few still moments. He leaned back to look at him before Harry returned the kiss, deepening it and sliding his tongue against his slowly. Louis followed Harry's lead, wrapping his hands into his flowerless hair and holding him against his chest as they kissed. He let Harry's hands roam as he closed his eyes and his world narrowed down to the taste of his mouth and the feel of his chest against his own. Harry pulled his shirt off, Louis tugging at his in return until he unclothed his as well. The soft sand pillowed him as Louis lost, piece by piece, his clothing. He was in Harry's lap, panting into his mouth and using his hands as Harry let him.  
"I love you." Louis whispered into his skin as his hands worked, breath heavy. Harry pauses and looks at him, making him pause at the depth of his eyes. Harry looks as if he's a thousand years old in that moment.  
"I love you more than anything else." He whispers, and Louis is still until Harry kisses his skin and uses his own hands to touch him while Louis holds onto him with soft, clinging hands. He let Harry lay him on the soft, warm sand and use his mouth that night. His hands strayed into his deflowered hair, moaning and breathing his name.  
In the morning, when the sun woke them up already clothed and curled up in each other's arms, Louis woke first. The sun hadn't yet broken the horizon, making the air glow softly against Harry's skin. He lifted his hand to run through his soft curls, petting him.  
His flowers had grown back this morning with difference, albeit without the rebellious flowers from the night before still tied into his own hair. Instead of the young, innocent flowers Louis had grown up with, Harry now had older flowers that reflected someone who had aged and learned things. They were just as beautiful to Louis as they had ever been, still soft pastel colors and gentle loving symbolisms.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating this each night from around five to seven p.m. :) Tell me what you liked about it.

By the time he was in his seventeenth year, Harry seemed to begin to understand what his guardians had raised him teaching.   
The village knew that the prince was in love with the only human boy anyone knew of. Fortunately everyone was quite accepting of them, paying them no notice. The only people who treated them any differently than any other couple was Anne and Eli and the rest of Harry's caretakers. Louis wasn't far too worried about it, they always acted a little strangely. But he caught them giving Louis pitying looks every once in a while, choosing to ignore them. There was no reason at all to pity the person that Harry had chosen to love, and Louis was more than proud enough to shrug off their strange reactions.   
Louis loved Harry as much as he had when he was ten and fifteen, still. He still loved sneaking into Harry's bed at night and sleeping with him, running his fingers through his hair as his flowers wilted and flitted onto his pillowcase. He loved kissing Harry and blowing the flower petals on his pillow case into the air. He liked picking them up and laying them on Harry's nose, falling asleep against his chest. When he'd wake up in the morning he'd find a fresh bloom of all new flowers peaking from his hair.   
In the summer that year, Louis heard Harry speak of the King for the first time.   
He walked with Louis in the meadow, running his fingers along the tips of the grass as they swayed against his hand as if in greeting. Louis watched him, his soft smile as they walked along. The sky was dotted with thick, beautiful clouds which seemed to be in a world apart.   
"What are you thinking?" Louis murmured, brushing his hand against the back of Harry's. He had grown to be a head taller than Louis, long curls laying over his shoulders. He was quiet for a moment before speaking.   
"I spoke with the elders about the King, today." Louis' eyes widened. He knew Harry was the only one who really knew much about the King besides the elders and his guardians, but he normally didn't speak about it.   
"Yeah." He nodded, bring Louis' hand up to his mouth to kiss softly.   
"What about it makes you think?"   
"I suppose... Lately, I think I understand Anne and Eli." He murmured, "And I just feel different." Louis was interested, always, in what Harry had to say.   
"Explain to me." Harry smiled as he sometimes did at being prompted to speak by him.   
"I just... I just feel like... there's life everywhere." He huffed a little as if he were silly to say this, "I just see it. Like... I feel like the wind and the sun have energy. And the flowers and the earth and the water... And the sea, it all has life. And it's all so connected and it's just strange. I feel closer to it. It sounds strange, but it makes sense to me."   
"It's not weird." Louis said, holding his hand. He did feel like it was weird. He felt like Harry was right. And that's what worried him, that he was changing. Louis didn't dwell on it, shoving out of his head all of the strange feelings the elders gave him and the things Anne and Eli taught him. "What did the elders say about the King?"   
Harry looked up with interested eyes, "They talked to me about who he was and is and... I - it's strange. He's... he's where I came from and he's a spirit. They said he's everywhere. That he's in the water and the air and earth. I mean, I always knew that, they always told me all of that. I just never thought about it much, and the other day they talked to me about it in detail. And it's amazing... He's not really a person but he is... he's a being, sort of - it's hard to explain. And - I don't know. For a month, now I just feel like everything has life. Like Anne and Eli always said, and every one does, but I feel it. Before it was just words, but now I feel like I can see it."   
Harry looked away, his eyes narrowing in thought at the the grass that waved around their legs. He lowered his hand to graze over the soft ferns of the meadow, hand smoothing over the grass. Louis couldn't miss the captured, almost affectionate look he gave the grass.   
"It feels beautiful... It's all alive." He murmured.  
Louis wanted to feel the same thing he did. He wanted to, and he understood Harry, even agreed with him. But he felt he couldn't feel the same thing he saw in his eyes when he brushed his fingers against the meadow. He knew that day, only a small part of what he would understand in the future. He knew that Harry was going to places with his mind and heart that Louis couldn't understand and couldn't follow.  
He kissed Harry's cheek and squeezed his hand anyway, thankful more than anything that he was the one Harry talked to about this. Thankful more than anything that he was able to see him feel these things. Able to stand next to him and see that he was beautiful and watch him exist.


	5. Chapter 5

As Harry neared nineteen, Louis had never been more in love with him.  
He had, on the other hand, begun to notice that Harry was changing. Harry was becoming quieter. He grew slower and found it harder to keep up with Louis. He often found himself noticing that Harry was spacing out of conversations and not all the way there. He often just paused and held his hand, letting him be. He was afraid, he wouldn't deny. Afraid of the way Harry stared into empty air sometimes when they were outside with eyes that seemed deeper than the ocean. As if he knew things Louis didn't.  
It's why he took Anne words to heart when she spoke to him alone one morning. She sat with him at tea and looked at him as if she were going to break some terrible news to him, making him wary.  
"I think you need to talk with Harry, sometime." She murmured, hands wrapped around her tea, "About what he is... I just think he should tell you what you should know about him, because - I think you should know."  
Louis was too afraid to ask what he should know, nodding and pretending it hadn't happened when Harry came down the stairs to meet him, leaving the house with him. 

-

"Harry?" Louis asked, trying to pretend like he didn't see Harry for what he was. Didn't see the way his eyes widened at the sky like he could watch the clouds move forever, the wind playing with his hair.  
"Yes?" He blinked, looking back at him. They sat together on the back porch of Louis' house.  
"I think we should talk." He murmured quietly, voice hushed with concern. Lifting his hand he brushed one of the flowers in his hair behind his ear. His heart was comforted by the small smile of pleasure Harry gave in reaction to his touch, turning his face to his hand a little. It was nice to know he still effected Harry when so many things didn't seem to reach him anymore.  
"Anne told me that... that you should talk with me about you being the prince." He murmured, sitting close to him on the wood of the porch. He hated that he was becoming uncomfortably aware of the world around him, like the clouds moving past them above which Harry seemed so interested in. Things that rendered Harry incognitive these days.  
Harry looked at him now with a look of pain and discomfort, seemingly shocked into silence. He knew that Harry knew something he didn't and that he didn't seem to want to talk about it.  
"About being the prince?" Harry murmured quietly.  
"Yes." Louis nodded. He didn't want to know, but he needed to. "About what it means."  
Harry was quiet for a long time, looking at Louis' hands with a troubled sadness.  
"I'm not going to be able to stay with you." He whispered. Louis' heart seized, his stomach turning cold. If there was one thing he had not wanted to hear, it was that. He had refused to acknowledge that it was even a possibility for days.  
"What does that mean." He choked quietly. Harry met his eyes.  
"Remember what I used to tell you about the King?" He murmured.  
"Yes." He wanted badly not to be having this conversation.  
"I'm going to be the King." He whispered, "What the King is."  
Louis' stomach felt sick.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Well... The King is like... an entity." He spoke gently, quietly, "Like a spirit. He's what makes the wind blow... He's what makes the flowers grow and the water flow, the stars shine. He's what makes the world... or nature... exist. He's nature. And I have to become him, next."  
Louis sat quietly, feeling like he might be in shock. Perhaps that's why he hasn't started crying into his shirt.  
"Where will you go?" He trembled.  
"It's hard to explain... Just... everywhere. To the earth."  
Louis stood, walking down the steps with shaking hands.  
"Louis." Harry stood.  
"Don't." He left. 

-

Louis had a lot of nerve to storm into Anne and Eli's house, hoping Harry would know not to follow. He found them at the kitchen table, his own chest heaving with panic and anger. They stopped short, appraising him with shocked looks.  
"What kind of people raise a child to die!" He snapped, eyes flickering from Eli to Anne, glad they were alone. Anne's eyes sobered with understanding.  
"Louis..." She whispered.  
"Don't!" He snapped, feeling his eyes well with tears. "He's going to die isn't he?" They looked at him silently, giving now answer audibly.  
"Why are you just letting this happen! Why do you not care about him, you raised him! How could you let him die without even thinking of stopping this?" He choked, chest heaving. Eli spoke, breaking the ringing silence.  
"Louis, this isn't something he can control." He murmured, breaking Louis' heart with his words.  
"What... Why is this happening."  
"It's natural." Anne whispered, "It's what has to happen."  
"Why him!" Louis cried, his voice raking over them unforgiving. He blamed them.  
"Because, he's the prince." Eli spoke, "The king is what makes up the universe, what makes it continue to function. Harry is the next in line. It's nature, and he's the one who will continue the line."  
"I don't care." He spoke, voice like stone and ice, "Stop him. Do something. Don't just sit there and let this happen."  
"People have tried before." He murmured quietly, his eyes revealing some of the hurt he kept masked. He would also feel the pain of this loss. "The last time someone tried to stop it, the princess herself took her own life. She was told what would happen when the time came to become the spirit and she didn't handle it. She died before her time came, breaking the line. It was the last ice age, it drove species to extinction and threw nature out of balance... Not until the next prince was born and became King did nature balance once again. People have tried, before, Louis."  
He stood in silence, head ringing. He didn't know what to do to stop this.  
"When." Louis choked.  
"When he's twenty, he'll turn." Eli murmured. Louis' eyes closed as the pain lay down on his shoulders with the weight of the ocean.  
"That's nearly a year." He whispered. They didn't answer. He stood in the silence before he couldn't take it anymore, leaving with numb legs.  
On the front porch, Harry stood like a child who had done something wrong, hands together in front of him in worry. Louis met his eyes, looking at him in a new light.  
"I'm sorry." Harry whispered, eyes searching for acceptance. Louis took his hand and walked home with him.


	6. Chapter 6

The regression was slow, but increasingly aggressive as the last year went on. Harry was nineteen now, and Louis knew he had a limited amount of time left. He spent every single day at his side, only going almost one full day before finding Harry again. In the beginning, as Harry began to feel his mind changing seriously, he was very dependent on Louis. If he was gone for too long, Louis would return to him shaking and mumbling his name as Louis wrapped his arms around him and whispered to him. He expressed that he didn't want to leave Louis, not anymore than Louis could stand to watch him go. It caused a sadness in Harry that Louis could only swallow down his own grief and comfort him, telling him to relax, that he was right here. Louis was grateful that as he began to grow more and more attached to nature, he became seemingly in love with it, losing some of the desperate desire to stay human. At least it meant Harry had somewhere that he wanted to go when he left, that he wasn't only a victim.  
Louis sat with Harry in the soft grass of the meadow, watching the sun go down. Harry had requested it, saying he'd like to watch the sun tonight. He didn't ask for as many things as he used to now, and Louis was so willing to give him whatever he wanted that he couldn't help but hold his hand and lead him to a soft area to sit together and watch the sunset.  
"I can see the universe." Harry whispered. And he didn't even think that he was speaking to him. His calm, green eyes were wide and captured by the sky. Louis fought the urge to cry, or to pull on his arm and say, _stop saying such stupid things, Harry._ He didn't, however. He loved Harry. And that meant that he knew who he was. And he knew that Harry was going to a place where he couldn't follow. He knew that Harry was seeing things he couldn't, falling in love with the world in a way he couldn't understand.  
He patted Harry's hand in his own, watching as he stared wordlessly at the colors in the sky. He didn't fully understand what was happening. Anne and Eli explained that his spirit was connected to nature, and that as he grew closer to his time, he would begin to see it and understand it. That he would become different mentally and spiritually, and that was hard enough to understand, but it was all they could offer.  
He still found Harry's soul beautiful. He didn't think he would. For him, whatever this was, was taking Harry from him. For him, this shift was killing him, stealing away the young Harry that he had grown up with. But, as it turned out, he couldn't find it ugly at all. He couldn't help himself. He saw the love and entrapment in Harry's eyes when the wind blew and when the rain sprinkled from the sky, and he was in love, too. He loved everything he did, and this was no different. 

-

He took a walk with Harry, speaking so much less with him than he used to.  
The only reminder that Harry loved him as much as he seemed to love the earth now, was the way he reached for him and reacted to his touch. He almost wouldn't go quietly without Louis near him anymore. Anne and Eli were very accommodating, allowing Louis to spend days and nights in their home with Harry. Indoors, Harry was the most like his old self as he could be. The most like the simple boy who found Louis' jokes hilarious, the one who played board games and jumped on the couch. Louis held most of his conversations with him when they were inside on the couch, wrapped in blankets and drinking tea. Louis would pet his hair and kiss his skin wherever he could, talking about whatever Harry wanted to.  
Harry was in and out of awareness, these days. Sometimes he talked with Louis as if nothing was happening. As if he was not at all aware that he was missing references in conversations and not understanding some of the more human things that Louis said.  
Other times, like when Harry caught Louis wiping away a tear one morning as they sat at the table waiting for breakfast to be ready, Harry was completely aware of their situation. This time, Harry was watching the window. Louis didn't even know what he was looking at, the view was only trees. But Harry was staring at the trees as the sun came up, watching the light slide over the leaves and the world wake up. When he looked back at Louis as if to share some of the beauty with him, Louis brushed away a tear he hadn't noticed.  
"I'm sorry." Harry whispered, and he looked as if he understood what was happening and how Louis felt. Louis took his hand and kissed his shoulder, shaking his head and sighing roughly.  
Now, as he walked through the plains near the cliffs at the shore line, Harry stopped and stared as the wind picked up. Louis stayed next to him holding his hand as Harry watched the wind kick up in an extra vigorous gust, sliding through the thick grass and creating waves in the flowers and green tufts of grass. Louis watched him, seeing the look in his eyes, as if he were somewhere else.  
"It's so beautiful." Harry whispered, his curls caught in the wind and the flower in his hair waving with them. Louis looked at him, the ache in his heart bated for a moment by the warmth of Harry's hand in his.  
_It is._ He thought, eyes on Harry's face.  
His heart felt comforted for a moment, as it did more and more these days, by the solidness of Harry's body next to his. He felt warmed by his hand holding onto his, by the sight of him next to him. Reminding him that he hadn't lost him yet, that the boy he loved more than anything was still next to him.  
He thought as Harry stared at the wide open plain, that yes, it is beautiful. He looked at Harry, and felt the love in his heart and the amazement at how beautiful one human being could be, and he felt that perhaps he could understand what Harry felt when he looked at the earth. That it is beautiful. Completely beautiful, and completely important. 

-

Harry, as he grew about half way through his nineteenth year, began to have shocking energy spurts.  
Normally, he was beginning to space out so much that he became more still and nearly lethargic. He preferred to sit and be still, as if he was stilled by the feeling of the world around him.  
That is why, when Harry sat upright on the couch in the morning, Louis looked at him in shock. He had Harry's feet in his lap, petting his hand over his ankle as he dozed under the blanket. He spent nearly half an hour, reading a book and listening to Anne chat with one of the elders.  
He felt Harry's body tense before he moved, lifting his eyes to see him laying frozen under the blanket, eyes wide and attentive. He frowned and then jumped as Harry sat up in an instant, staring at the air as if listening to something. Louis set his book down.  
"Harry?" He murmured. Harry jumped from the couch, nearly jogging to the back door and opening it. Louis leaped to his feet, following him hurriedly into the back yard and through the trees. "Harry!"  
His heart thumped as Harry began to run through the trees, slowed by the debris of the forest so that Louis could keep up. Louis had always been faster than him, always able to outrun him. Harry was slowed down by the forest, and yet not to the extent that he should be. Louis was struggling to keep him in sight as he moved through the wood as if barely hindered by it.  
He was panting when he caught up to him on the edge of the trees. He watched silently with wide eyes as Harry stared at the meadow where they had played as kids. The wind was strong, almost eerily so, whipping at the grass and causing the trees around them to roar.  
It was only around ten thirty in the morning, the wide open meadow looking as if a storm cloud was about to hover over it. As it was, the sun was shining in the wind swept meadow.  
Harry ran. Louis felt a kind of tiny panic in his chest as he did so, running after him as he began to run through the grass. He ran at full speed, body moving gracefully in a way he'd never seen in Harry. Harry was always sort of awkward with his long legs, but now he was effortless.  
"Harry." He whimpered under his breath, running after him. He ran with the wind at his back through the grass, as if to run _with_ the wind. When he stopped, he slammed to a halt, making Louis stumbled to his own stop. He stood a fair distance away from him, watch as Harry whipped around and faced the pounding wind. He looked wild. His eyes fluttered shut as the wind whipped his hair away from his face, blinking the green of his eyes open again and widening them as he stared up at the sky and into the wind.  
He seemed to not even notice Louis was there, his chest heaving and his eyes wide, searching the air as if he was watching the wind move in the empty space.  
Louis approached him after a moment, reaching out with his hands to touch him. He didn't hesitate, but he nearly could have. His eyes were so near the eyes of wild animals that his people lived alongside. He could see the packs of wolves and the horses as they took flight.  
"Harry." He spoke, getting his attention. Harry looked down at him and his eyes widened. He looked at Louis as if he could look into him, eyes flickering wildly before looking back up at the wind.  
"Can't you feel it?" Harry looked at it and then looked back at him, hands clutching onto his arms. Louis didn't know what to say. He couldn't say no. He couldn't tell Harry that he was alone, that no one else shared this confusing understanding. He couldn't tell him that he was the only one who felt this.  
"Of course, baby, yes." He nodded, smiling weakly as Harry smiled at him and then at the sky.  
He took Harry's hand and pulled him carefully back to the trees, leading him back to the house. Harry held onto his hand, even once they returned inside, the wild look of ecstasy on his face as he cuddled close to him on the couch. 

-

The energy spurts came out of nowhere, driving Harry to do strange things. Louis panicked one evening, nearly shaking with fear when he woke up and found Harry missing.  
He had been napping on the couch with him, fallen asleep with his arms wrapped around him. Harry was very still and sleepy around noon, and eventually they both dozed off.  
Louis sat up, hands rigid as he gripped the blanket that had been wrapped around him.  
"Anne!" Louis' cold voice choked out, bringing her inside from the front porch.  
"Louis?" She paused as Louis stood up, staring at the couch, mind racing.  
"He's gone, he was just here." He looked up to see the back door left open, taking off into the forest with Anne on his heals. They jogged, Louis wanting to take off at full speed but not knowing where he would go. When they reached the meadow, Louis' heart hammered, not knowing at all where to go.  
"Go check the river, yeah?" Anne murmured, voice calm despite the look of darkness in her eyes. "He was talking nonsense about the water before he fell asleep, wasn't he?"  
Louis didn't know, he'd been half asleep himself while Harry mumbled those things. Louis ran as fast as he could, his feet bare as he streaked through the meadow and into the woods. Anne would catch up to him, he decided.  
He reached the river and the hand around his heart seemed to release it's choking grip at the sight of Harry. Louis exhaled a choked lungful of air. A little bit upstream of where he stood, Harry sat in the middle of the narrow river. Louis walked over to the bank.  
"Harry." He spoke, earning no reply or even a glance. He stepped into the water, his feet touching the pebbly bed of the river. Walking through it, he made his way to him. He knelt down close to him, not yet able to touch him. "What are you doing out here, love? You're getting your clothes soaked."  
His words were gentle and wrought with ache as he spoke to him. His knees in the water now, the drag of the river pulled at his own clothes.  
Harry was completely lost, it seemed. He was sat in the stream with the water flowing past him at his ribs, his face turned to the surface of the water. He held his wide hands, palms upturned, just at the surface of the water. His green eyes reflected the stream as he stared, completely enraptured, at his hands. The water broke and flowed across them as he stared as if in shock at his own hands.  
Louis' eyes watered and he closed them for a moment, a short respite from the sight of him so helpless. He felt grief strike him in his chest and his stomach, his throat hot and aching with the heaviness of it. He exhaled, opening his eyes and wiping them as he reached forward and took Harry's hands in his own.  
Harry blinked as Louis' hands clasp his own, palms pressing against his and fingers wrapping tightly around him. He lifts his green eyes to his, and Louis does not allow himself to look away from the blank, somehow empty and completely full, look in his eyes.  
"Hi, love." Louis whispered, rubbing his thumbs comfortingly over his hands. Harry blinks at him and then looks back down at his hands, eyes watching the water flow across their hands.  
He heard Anne emerge from the trees at the bank behind him, turning his head to see her covering her mouth with her hands. Harry doesn't seem to notice anything, staring at their hands as the water flows over them.  
Anne looks as if she tries not to cry, waving her hands and stepping forward to get Harry out of the water.  
"Just leave him." Louis called out, quickly, "Just let him sit for a moment, he's okay."  
And so he sat with him in the water, hands tight against his for a few moments. He watched Harry's eyes follow the water and his fingers twitch and wiggle as if to feel the water and Louis' hand. 

-

There were times when he felt that he was sharing Harry with this new love. He had always been proud that Harry loved him, always proud that he alone held his heart. These days, sometimes he felt like he was sharing a man with another love. He didn't feel jealous, or want to stop the other love. But he does feel like he's sharing him with this entity of energy that he loves in a whole different way than he loves Louis.  
What Harry says to him is the only thing that assures him that he's not being forgotten.  
He's laying with Harry on a blanket in the backyard as the sun goes down. He wanted to be outside again and was on the tired, weak side of his energy these days. So Louis, lay with him on a pallet of blankets as the sun went down, leaning on his elbow and rubbing Harry's arm.  
Harry stared at him for a while, his wide green eyes seeming to lose awareness of the quiet conversation they had been holding about Harry's favorite holiday.  
"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." Harry whispered, staring at Louis' face. Louis looked back at him and his heart ached. The way he gazed at him now was the way that he gazed at the earth when he was outside. Louis held his hand and knew that he would never be able to understand the extent to which Harry loved him. He was grateful, so grateful it made him weak, that Harry loved him as much as he loved the earth - a love that he had come to respect as a part of Harry, now.  
He was quiet as Harry lifted his hand to softly touch his face, thumb tracing his cheek and eyes taking in his face as if he'd never seen it before. Louis smiled and alongside the ache in his soul, his heart felt love. He raised his hand to touch the back of Harry's as he touched his face. His own eyes were soft as he watched Harry study his face.  
He couldn't imagine what Harry was seeing. He knew that he could see things and energies that no one else could, and wondered what it was that Harry found so beautiful in his face. He was in love and grateful that he was still beautiful to him, next to the staggering beauty of the universe.  
Louis lay cuddled against Harry's body that night as the stars raised into the sky and Harry watched them, sighing out quiet mindless breathes as he lost his mind in the stars. Louis listened to his heart beat and rubbed his hand over his warm body as he watched the night sky. He was thankful that he could still press soft kisses into Harry's chest. 

-

As the wild spurts of energy had gone on, Harry had begun to bloom more flowers. Louis watched as the days passed, and each morning as his daily bloom returned, more and more flowers came along.  
Most people had more hair than they had flowers, much more. For most of Harry's life, he had too. Eventually, Louis was petting his hair and finding just as many flowers as there was hair. He told him that he looked more beautiful than ever, Harry laughing quietly.  
Louis doesn't speak it, no one does because it's obvious to everyone, that the flowers are growing because Harry's soul is changing. It's how the flowers work, reflecting the human inside. But now, instead of the species changing, the quantity was changing. As the days went on and Harry fathomed at the universe, his soul was fusing and changing along with his mind. Louis watched as flowers bloomed and bloomed in his hair, as if a visible display of how far he was getting out of his reach. Louis was afraid and grieving, and with every new sprout of flowers crowding at his temples and his crown, Louis felt like he was watching the earth grow up and over Harry as if by morning light there would be nothing left but a patch of earth.  
He'd have given anything to keep those wild blooms of flowers in Harry's head, however.  
The energy spurts didn't last forever. Harry seemed to get weaker than he had before, sitting more and standing for less. Louis heart ached with every moment that he stood with Harry at the kitchen sink or on the porch, for he knew that it was getting harder for him to stay on his feet.  
He'd have given anything to keep him running through the meadow like he was the wind. Like he'd lost his mind. If it meant he would continue to at least stand.  
It wasn't meant to be however and, eventually, Harry lay down in his bed with Louis one night and didn't get up in the morning.  
Louis had turned his face away, struggling not to cry when Harry told him he was too weak to stand up. Harry knew, though, seemed to be able to feel Louis' emotions in the air these days.  
"I'm sorry." He murmured, hand holding onto Louis' thigh in guilt and hurt. Louis lay down that day and could stop himself from crying quietly. Hours later, when Louis had composed himself, gotten tea for them and brought some books to read, Harry spoke to him.  
"Are you afraid?" Harry asked, quietly. Louis wanted to swat him over the head, or at least he would have when they were young and all of this was still just a legend he'd only heard about.  
"Yes." Louis nodded, holding his hand. "I am."  
Harry was quiet as he looked up at him. Right now, he was very aware. Louis could see the Harry he had grown up with more than ever, right next to the permanent undertone of enlightenment in his gaze.  
"I know you have every right to be, but you shouldn't, I promise." He whispered, Louis grit his teeth. He wanted to go down stairs and walk into the meadow where he'd first kissed him and scream at the sky. To scream at the absent King that everyone acknowledged, the one that was everywhere as they said. To scream, _how dare you take him from me._ To scream that he hated the earth and the sky and that he hated all of these things that Harry so loved, to scream that the King was not his king. That he hated him and everything that was taking him away day by day.  
"Are you afraid?" Louis said, instead. He wanted to know. He wanted to know that Harry wasn't hurting any more than he had to be.  
"Sort of." Harry mumbled, "I'm not afraid of going. It's not death. But I am afraid of losing you." He paused. Louis watched him think.  
"I don't know what it's going to be like. And I'm worried I won't remember what it's like to love you." He spoke honestly, and Louis swallowed shakily. "Sorry."  
"Don't be sorry for who you are." Louis' voice gravelly, spoke with sureness. Harry squeezed his hand. 

-

Louis' friends kept a respectful distance from him now, knowing how much of Louis' time was spent trying to take care of the Prince while fighting a losing battle all at once.  
The elders viewed him as some kind of honorable, strong soldier. Louis didn't accept their respect for staying near Harry. He wasn't doing anything corageous or unusual, and their aproval only made him feel more like this was all too catastrophic and wrong.  
It wasn't easy, no. Laying next to him as he stared at nothing a mumbled to no one about dimensions inside of dimensions wasn't easy. Being with Harry was a full time job and, more often than not, the only time Louis wasn't with him was when he was asleep.  
He wasn't looking for an out or a break, which is why he didn't really think about it when he went outside for some fresh air while Harry napped. He didn't know why he didn't just stop in the back yard, he didn't really know how he ended up in the meadow.  
He didn't know how he'd gotten to where he was until he became aware of the white hot heat searing through his throat and his skin, making him feel like he was on fire in the cold air.  
His knees on the cold earth, his vision blurring so that he could only see the outline of his dirt clad hands, his fingernails caked with soil, he became aware of what he was doing. He didn't stop, tearing at the roots of the grass and ripping at the flowers that sprouted from the earth, upturning the cold soil until the ground before him was nothing but a mess of weeds, flowers, and dirt.  
He grit his teeth, hands clenching into fists in the soil. Squeezing his eyes shut, his mind buzzing like a wire, a tear rolled down his nose and dripped away. He felt like he was so angry his body would burn out from the inside, his throat hot, his stomach taught, his muscles stiff, his skin heated.  
He inhaled, as if bitten or struck, _"Why!"_ He screamed, opening his eyes to the ruined earth before him. His lungs worked over the air and his muscles trembled and loosened, the hate in his chest leaving as his eyes turned to exhaustion.  
The wind shuffled halfheartedly past him, as gentle as it was everyday, as if the earth was completely unaware of him.  
He came back, washed his hands, wiped his eyes and received no questions from the caregivers as they took notice of his return, returning to Harry quietly.

-

He'd have given anything to keep those wild blooms of flowers in Harry's head.  
As the days passed, the last week of December was spent in Harry's bed. Louis spent his days laying next to him and reading to him, sitting quietly as friends and elders visited him and Anne and Eli spoke with him. He cherished the moments when he had him to himself, alone as the winter chill was kept out by the warmth of their bodies.  
He was happiest when he was alone with Harry and they didn't sadden themselves with what was coming. He was happiest when, for a few hours in the day as they lay in bed playing games and talking about nothing and reading books, Harry would pause and out of the silence mumble simply.  
"You really are my best friend, Lou." He smiled happily, "Always were." It was things like that which plunged Louis back into the past, when he was ten and eleven and twelve and they were perfectly happy. When Harry was just like the rest of the children and he would laugh at Louis' jokes, even the ones he didn't think were his best. And Louis was proud of that laughter.  
All of the flowers that he had bloomed began to wilt. Louis watched, without any of the terrifying pain in his heart, as they wilted. He was not in as much pain anymore. He didn't have the luxury to be. He knew that time was running out, quickly, and it made him grateful. He was unable to be so wrapped up in his pain when he knew he only had a certain amount of time left to love him. So, when he was with him, he only kissed him and murmured soft sounds of love to him.  
The flowers did wilt. In the daytime. Flowers only wilt in the night. Louis was careful to sweep the flowers up into a basin near the bed, unable to throw them away as people normally did in the morning. Harry was increasingly loving, and always touched Louis. The flowers fluttered from his hair, littering the pillows and sheets with petals of the flowers Harry grew.  
Louis was petting his hair, running his fingers soothingly through it, when Harry reached up to feel it. Louis watched quietly as Harry felt his hair, feeling only hair. He knew that it would feel strange. He knew that he would feel loose petals in his roots, petals that had fallen off but not yet out.  
"I'm just like you." Harry breathed, smiling up at him cheekily. Louis rolled his eyes and shook his head, lowering his forehead to touch Harry's. He pressed his hand against his face and was thankful that he no longer cried, thankful that he wasn't distracted from loving him. And he did love him, kissing his lips softly. 

-

Louis woke up, yawning and immediately checking on Harry, sighing as he found him already awake and smiling at him. He seemed more human than usual, these last few days.  
"'Morning, love." Louis grumbled, sitting up.  
"Happy birthday, Lou." Harry murmured quietly. Louis paused, chuckling as he remembered. Today was the birthday that Louis' adopted parents had given him. Christmas Eve.  
"Thanks, H." He smiled.  
"I wrote you something." He mumbled. "For your present."  
Louis looked at him in surprise and concern. He had been sitting right next to him for most of the last week, only missing him when he went to the bathroom or downstairs to get something, or when Anne helped Harry to the bathroom.  
"When?" Harry smiled.  
"When you were sleeping."  
"How did you stay awake?" He knew how tired Harry was these days.  
"I just really wanted to." He shrugged. He lifted his hand and Louis let him do the work himself, of opening the drawer to the desk next to the bed, pulling out an envelope. He gave it to him.  
"You should save it." Harry murmured as Louis looked at it, feeling the paper inside.  
"What is it?"  
"I wrote it so you'd have something... to read from me. I guess. I know you don't fully understand what's going to happen, and I just wanted to make sure you had something to remind you that I'm okay and... that I love you."  
Louis swallowed and leaned forward to lay against his chest, holding onto him.  
"Thanks, Haz." Harry rubbed his back contently, pressing his cheek against his head.


	7. Chapter 7

Louis woke up on the first of Harry's twentieth year and didn't feel the pain that he thought he'd feel. He felt trust. And he felt like he loved him.  
He woke up to Harry watching him sleep, grateful to see him looking like the boy he'd grown up with and not the one who was looking at the secrets of the universe. He lay next to him, his hand against his face, silent as Harry breathed in and out slowly with him.  
"I want to be outside, please." Harry whispered, his voice fatigued, Louis' eyes turning a quiet sort of pain. He nodded and sat up, kissing Harry's forehead as he went to retrieve Anne and Eli. They were quiet as he told them Harry's request.  
Eli picked up Harry, still strong enough to bare his weight. Harry's head lay against his arm as they made their way slowly to the backdoor. Anne followed with tears quietly wetting her cheeks as Louis walked along side him, holding his hand warmly in his. Harry held onto him as if nothing could make him let go, asking him to take them to the meadow. Louis nodded and Eli followed as he led them through the trees to the meadow where they'd spent their childhood playing with Zayn and Niall, Bells of Ireland adorning the carefree boy's hair and flickering through his thoughts as he walked beside him.  
Louis watched his face without fail, unable to look away. As they passed under the trees, Louis felt his ache put at ease by the peace on his face. Harry looked up at the canopy of tree tops, eyes stilling as he gazed. They reflected the sky where it broke through the gaps in the branches. He stared at up with a tiny smile, eyes quiet. He looked as if he were already half way gone for a moment, ethereal expression, in love with the sky.  
Louis smiled softly to him, thumb rubbing his hand, watching as Harry gazed up at the sky with his beautiful eyes. He didn't look like any of the fear or pain they had felt, and it steadied Louis' heart.  
In the meadow, Louis led them to the spot where he had first kissed him, holding his hand as Eli carefully lay him down in the soft grass. Louis sat down next to him and held his hand as Anne and Eli kissed his head. Harry told them he wanted to be alone with Louis after they had spoken their goodbyes and I love you's.  
Louis was left alone with him, sitting next to him, hand clasped warmly in his, the only human boy with the Prince. The prince who was becoming the King far too quickly.  
Harry breathed out as he looked to his side at the grass he lay in. His hand reached weakly out to touch it, reeds of soft, green grass sliding between his fingers as if to say hello and to greet him. Louis watched quietly, the look of love on Harry's face. He smiled softly, closing his eyes as the breeze softly tugged at the grass around them.  
"Thank you, Louis." He whispered. Louis squeezed his hand and nodded, both of his hands wrapped around his now. He was quiet as Harry spoke again.  
"I can feel everything, Lou." Harry whispered, his voice quiet with weakness or love, "I can feel everything. It's so beautiful."  
"Yes, Harry." He murmurs, telling that he's here and that he's listening.  
"I'm..." Harry breathed, "So thankful that you get to live here. On earth. I couldn't ask for anything else... That you get to live where it's beautiful. I couldn't ask for anything else."  
"Thank you, love." Louis whispered, leaning down and kissing his cheek, squeezing his eyes closed as he pressed his forehead to his temple for a moment.  
"I want you to know." Harry murmured, the strength he had drawing into his voice. "I want you to understand that I'm not dying." Louis exhaled and the tears welled in his eyes.  
"I'm not dying. I'm going to be with you more than ever, I promise. I want you to see that it's the opposite. I'm going to be in the air around you and in the grass under your feet."  
"I understand." Louis croaked, wishing he could go where he was going.  
"I'm going to be with you, always." He murmured, "I promise. I'm not going anywhere. I believe that. I'm going to love you and wait for you. And you just know that this place is beautiful and I want you to try and love it, too."  
"I know, Harry." Louis cried, his voice trembling as he sniffled. "I know."  
Louis sat with him, leaning down so that he could lay his head against his chest, his face against his neck. He was quiet as he listened to his heart beating, in love with the way he watched the sky. He felt like could feel Harry's heart in his.  
"I want you to close your eyes, please, Louis." Harry breathed, and he knew that it would happen. He did, nodding to him as he closed his eyes. He kept his eyes closed as he felt his breath still, his lungs pausing, heart still beating. "I love you."  
He kept his eyes closed as he felt the wind wrap around him and warmth emanate from Harry's body. The field around Louis shifted, from near unnatural silence as Harry's breath stilled, into a roar of wind and whipping of grass. His body seemed to shift in space and before Louis knew it, he was opening his eyes and lifting his head to see the space where Harry had been almost shimmering like heat from stones. His eyes widened as a mess of flowers and leaves and grass was swept up high into the air, spinning in the wind. Barely breathing as dragonflies and butterflies and fireflies and other insects fluttered up from the grass, flitting around the flowers as the all encompassing wind carried them away. He heard birds cry as they took flight from the trees near the meadow. It seemed like for a moment, the very earth and sky itself quaked in a wild rush of energy.  
The wind seemed to come from everywhere at once, holding Louis as he closed his eyes, taking his breath from his lungs. It was loud as the wind swept against him, wrapping around his body and flowing through his hair, against his face and neck. For one moment, it felt like one thousand hands gripping him, digging in with each finger.  
When he opened his eyes, the wind was dying down, tugging gently at his clothing and touching his face softly. He swallowed, hands shaking.   
When he looked down at his hand, the one that had held onto Harry's, in his palm remained one flower. He now knows just how much it takes to make the world go around. He now knows just what makes the stars shine. How much it takes for the flowers grow.


	8. Chapter 8

_Louis,  
Your birthday is today and I don't even know if you remember it. You were always so happy on your birthday. I remember when I tried to hide your present when we were kids, somewhere you would find it as a surprise.You didn't find it and you got so upset, I thought you'd nearly cry. Acting so insulted and angry that I'd forget. We were so simple and funny, looking back.   
When I was fifteen the elders told me what would happen to me. It was the night we had sex for the first time in August. Or September?  
I should have told you that night. I never quite accepted my decision to hide it from you. But, I was young and all I wanted to do was pretend it didn't exist. It wasn't so real at the time. It seemed like a story that I was told about my life instead of something that would actually happen to me and, by extension, you. I was afraid you would leave.   
I never told you because I wanted you more than anything, and I tell you that a lot, but it is a very principle truth. I hope you know that. That's why I'm writing this.   
I want you to know, as well, that I'm not dying. And that, when you read this, I'll be more alive than I can explain. I want you to understand that I am okay right now and I will be when I'm gone.   
I wish I could describe this to you. I wish I could show you that this is okay. That the things I feel these days are good things.   
I don't want you to think I'm hurting. I want you to understand how much I need this. I feel it in a way that I can't write down to you. I need to go. And I want you to know that there is a very integral, fundamental part of me that wants nothing more than to go right now.   
I want you to know this because I would give it up to stay with you. I don't believe I'm leaving you, but I do believe I'm hurting you and losing life at your side as a human. I don't want to lose it. I want you to know that I value life at your side, as simple as it was before I saw everything, more than I value becoming whatever it is that I am.   
I love you. I would say that I love you more than the earth but I don't have to. I see it in you. I see the universe in you. I see the wind in your breath. The sky in your eyes. The meadow in your eyelashes. The sea and her tides in your hair. The earth and it's supple, fruitfulness in your muscle. The steadiness of the mountains in your bones. The shimmer of the stars and galaxies in your skin. And life. I love you more than all of those things, and yet how lucky am I that you are the most beautiful form of all those things combined.   
I know that you feel like you've been losing me. But I want you to know that you can't, not possibly. I feel the strength to stay at your side for eternity.   
I want you to live your life normally. However you choose to. To make your choices and to follow them, even if they are mistakes; make them. I want you to experience life because it's the greatest gift I could wish to give to you.   
I'm sorry this is a long letter, when we were kids you'd have laughed my ear off for being so sentimental.   
I love you. That word can mean a thousand different things and I mean all of them.   
I am okay, wonderful even, while you read this.   
I'm actually wonderful as I write this. You're asleep against my side, your head is on my chest and I'm being careful not to wake you. You're even more tired than I am these days. You're beautiful. Just like this. I can feel the suffering in you, these last few months, in between us. I can feel that you are in a lot of pain and I'm sorry for that. But I want you to know that I'm laying here beside you and life is good.   
That everything is alright. Much more alright than it seems.   
It always will be. _

_-Yours, H x_


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